How to feel happy every day

Are you struggling with feeling a lack of joy, happiness or even just satisfaction? There is something about living in the post-2020 era that has led many to struggle with not just depression and anxiety but just an overall fatigue with the rollercoaster conditions of the world in general.

Even if you have been fortunate enough to not have the world's situations personally affect your directly sometime were are so focused on the destination of our journey that it is difficult to enjoy the journey in itself. As a consequence when we do reach the destination it can feel anticlimactic and rather discouraging. All that effort for such a small pay off. The solution to an unhappy or unsatisfied mind is to try to find joy and satisfaction in the day to day rather than waiting until the end.

To that end I thought we could discuss 7 things that, when done everyday can help us remain present and allow us to feel more satisfaction in the journey itself. These were taken from Ben Schwartz book The Paradox of Choice which I will discuss in a further post but I’m sure you are already familiar with some principles that back them up.

1) Exercise - I know, you are shocked! And if it looks familiar it’s because it made it to the list of Miracle Mornings practices discussed in last month’s post. Specifically exercise is recommended in this case because it releases endorphins which are hormones secreted in the brain as well as the nervous system that activate the body's opiate receptors, causing an analgesic effect and a sense or wellbeing. So it’s easy to see how you can improve your mood by exercising daily! It doesn’t have to be for hours and hours, there are some HIT exercises that can be done in 7 minutes!

2) Feed your mind - Learn something interesting, whether through reading, podcasts or videos engage your intellect, it will make you feel like you didn’t waste your day. Learning new things keeps your mind active and flexible. The act of remembering things is not the same a that of learning new things, neuroplasticity is achieved by challenging your mind.

3) Feed your soul - Similar to the advice above, being inspired produces a sense of wellbeing. Feeding your soul can be done through any of the popular mindfulness techniques, sitting in silence, journaling, watching a sunrise/sunset, prayer, of religious study. Whatever you chose do it everyday, the time you spend calming your mind will pay dividends in the end.

4) Catch up with a friend - I know you’re busy. So am I! This doesn’t have to be an hours long lunch or phone call, 15 minutes of a back a forth text exchange will remind you that you are not alone. Most of us can think of at least 7 different family members or friends that we haven’t heard from in a while; and if you can’t then this gives you a reason to make more human connections after all we are pack animals, we need to know we are not alone in the world. Here’s a tip: if you are feeding your mind everyday you will always have something interesting to share when you catch up with your friends!

5) Do something for someone else - Because there is more happiness in giving than in receiving - so small favors or little gifts can make a big impact on both yours and other people’s lives. Get creative, a smile, a compliment, but do it purposefully and with the intent to encourage and make someone else’s day better.

6) Do something for yourself ( treat yourself) - You don’t need to fly yourself to Paris, but if there is a special drink you like to make for yourself, do it! Watch a sunset, take a long bath, whatever you would consider a treat. Avoid making it a sugar filled treat as that can send the wrong message to your brain. Other than that you do you!

7) List out your accomplishments for the day - This is a rather an innovative idea, rather than making a To-Do list make and I did list, when you actually see in writing all that you have accomplished that day it will reassure you that you have not wasted your day. As a side note keeping track of those things can help you determine if there are necessary changes that need to be made with the way you spend your time.

Follow these steps anytime you feel yourself being less present. You will know that is happening because you will either be anxious worrying about the future or depressed thinking about the past. But if you do a quick check at the end of the day and see that you have indeed done all these things you will at the very least feel a sense of satisfaction and at best Joy!

How to have a Miraculous Morning!

The early bird catches the worm. We have all either been told or have told someone this saying to emphasize the benefit of an early start. The idea is a rather simple one and the implication is that when you start the day right you are more likely to be effective and successful. Having said that, while knowledge is the first step, just knowing this to be true has not in itself been historically the best indicator of follow-through or motivation. Last month’s post covered some ideas on how to create habits that stick. This month we will discuss some very specific habits that when combined with an early start in the day can completely change your life. These will be taken from author Hal Elrod in the book The Miracle Morning. I doubt any of these will be new to you, it’s not the practices that he recommend that makes this so powerful it's the practice of all of them, every day, that makes it life altering. 

It consists of: meditation, affirmations, visualization, exercise, reading and journaling. See, I told you, nothing new!  Using the acronym SAVERS ( Silence, Affirmations, Visualization, Exercise Reading, & Scribing) the author provides a recipe for a “great day”. Guaranteed. I can attest to it, if you do all these things, every day, there is no way that you won’t have great day. 

The wonderful thing about it is that while it is 6 different things, it doesn’t have to take you 6 hours to complete.  In fact when rushed for time you can technically complete it in 6 minutes. Dedicating a single minute to each step. Ideally though, dedicating an hour to it in the morning will make an enormous impact on the quality of your day. To learn all about it and some very helpful tips I highly recommend that you read the book. For the remainder of this post thought I will give you a brief summary of the system along with some tips for getting up in the morning.

In general adding 60 minutes of activity to your life will require you to start getting up earlier. It may not mean necessarily 60 minutes earlier, it could be that you are already exercising in the morning, or sitting quietly while you drink your coffee, but generally speaking some adjustment in when you rise is to be expected. To do this Hal Elrod  provides the following suggestions: 

1. Set your intentions before bed- your anxiety level in the morning tends be related to the anxiety level at night, if you go to sleep thinking that your day tomorrow is super busy and exhausting you won’t want to get out of bed in the morning, but if you go to sleep thinking how grateful you are to have a enough work to keep you busy then you are more likely to wake up with a positive outlook on your day. (This is especially true for those who suffer from insomnia, the more you worry about not getting enough sleep and being tired in the morning the more likely you are to be tired in the morning) So make the conscious decision that tomorrow will be great! Perhaps even write it down in your affirmations journal before you go to sleep.

2. Move your alarm clock across the room- the benefit here is self explanatory

3. As soon as you rise brush your teeth & splash some water on your face

4. Drink a full glass of water, dehydration makes you feel tired!

5. Change into your workout clothes.

Now you are awake! The order in which you perform the tasks is not really important to the result. What matters is that you cover do them all. You need 5 minutes of Silence - whether that is sitting in meditation, prayer, reflection, deep breathing or gratitude the point is you are able to reflect. Say out loud or write in 5 min or less your Affirmations for the day - you can use your personal development goals to inform your affirmations such as I am present in the moment, I am satisfied with work, I accept my self as I am etc.) Spend the next 5 minutes Visualizing how your day will proceed - ALL day, see yourself accomplishing what you need to accomplish while being happy and patient. Now move your body with some sort of Exercise for 15-20 minutes, it can be anything you want, a brisk walk, some HIIT training or a few yoga poses the point is you are moving you body.  Read something interesting for 15-20 min or so- not the news, make it your aim to use this time for self development/discovery. Finally Scribing, grab your journal, spend 5 minutes writing, write about what’s on your mind, what you want to accomplish, what you have been upset about, just write. You will find it will give you much clarity! 

That will take you about an hour, but you see how you can adjust that depending on your schedule? You could exercise for 10 minutes, and read for 10 minutes, and now you are down to 40 minutes instead of 60. Even at 10 minutes, before the end of the week you will have spent 60 minutes reading and exercising! 

Like any new habit, the first 10 days will be excruciating. The next 10 days will be hard but the last 10 days will be bliss! So don’t give up. 

I can honestly say that I had never been and happy or effective as I was when I was following this practice. Due to some health issues I had to suspend it for a time and there was a marked difference in my mood and motivation level.

Any room you can make in your life to accommodate the system will be make a difference. Why not give it a try! 

Habit Reinforcing

Can you believe we have ended the first quarter of the year? How are those resolutions coming? Do they look like they may need some adjusting? In this post I wanted to discuss the 4 Laws of Habit Building according to Atomic Habits’ Author James Clear, perhaps that’s exactly what you need to make those resolutions stick.

Law #1 Make it obvious. When we are first starting out a new habit it will naturally be easy to forget because it’s “new”. We hope that someday it will be second nature to perform but when we are first starting out it will be easy to slip and forget. So by making it obvious it can help us to remember that we want to do it. An example would be if you are trying to make it a habit to take your vitamins every morning: take them out of the cabinet and put it in an obvious and visible place so that you literally can’t miss seeing them in the morning. Another tip is adding the new habit to your daily affirmations: “I take my vitamins daily”. My personal favorite is anchoring the habit to an already existing one. I make myself a green juicer every morning, so I anchored my vitamins habit to drinking the green juice. As soon as the juice is made I grab the pill box that is sitting in an obvious and visible place and take them with my juice. 

Law #2 Make it attractive. Find a way to make the new habit attractive. One way to do this is by pairing something you want to do with something you need to do. Using the same example of taking vitamins if you need you morning coffee, pair it with taking your vitamins. Using Law #1 you would put them near your coffee maker in an obvious and visible spot. Another way to make it attractive is to join a group or culture to support your new habit whether through and app or by creating your own group of vitamin takers you can encourage each other and keep each other accountable. Finally you can turn it into a ritual by doing something you enjoy immediately before the difficult habit, in our vitamin example it might be putting on some delicious smelling lotion right before you take your vitamins. Every time. 

Law #3 Make it easy. This seems self explanatory, but sometimes when we create a ritual we have too many steps included. If you have never taken vitamins before in your life don’t start with 13 different ones all in separate bottles. Either take a single multivitamin or join one of the home delivery systems that send your pre-packaged little envelopes with all your vitamins in them already. Controlling your environment can be quite helpful too. Make sure that your vitamins are not only in a visible place but that it won’t take 15 steps to get it from it’s place to your mouth. One suggestion presented by Mr Clear is to downscale your new habit so that it can be done in 2 minutes or less. That way the time investment will be small enough that even when you are in a hurry you are likely to get it done. To that end, automating a habit can make all the difference. Whether that is by having the vitamins pre-packed for you or using an app to remind you, there is a lot of help available out there for most common habits. 

Law #4 Make it satisfying.  Find a way to reward yourself immediately after completing your habit. Using a habit tracker can provide this for you because the very act of marking down when you did it (especially if it’s daily) will be satisfying as you try very hard to not break the chain of success. You often see this in dangerous workplaces that keep track of the number of days that it’s been since the last accident. Commit yourself to never miss your habit twice. 

These laws can be applied in reverse to break bad habits too! I hope these tip are helpful as you continue on your journey to become the person you wish to be! 

Psychosomatic what?

Have you ever heard someone say “it’s all in your head” when talking about your physical symptoms or discomfort? It’s usually said in a rather dismissive way and the implication is that you are making it up and if you only wanted to, you could make it stop.  I thought I would dedicate this post to a discussion on psychosomatic diseases to give you a better understanding of what the term means and how they present.  

There is another term to describe psychosomatic conditions that is easier to grasp and less emotionally charged and that is “mind-body syndrome”. This second term is more self-explanatory it makes reference to the idea that your body will react to what your mind believes to be true. Psychosomatic disorders are really one version of a broader group of entities  called psychogenic disorders which is defined as “any physical disorders induced of modified by the brain for psychological reasons”.

Some of these manifestations will sound very familiar to you blushing when you feel embarrassed, sweating when you are put on the spot, butterflies in your stomach when you are anxious. These all seem harmless and more importantly temporary, persisting only as long as  the original stimulus remains. 

A second group of psychogenic disorders is when a physical disorder is intensified by stressors that are unrelated to the condition. An example may be the increased physical pain felt by some after a car accident when confronted with everyday stressors in daily life, be it from work, family etc. but not related to the injuries themselves. An example might be the pain getting far worse after a fight with your spouse, technically no additional damage has been done to the spine or muscles but the stress of dealing with an additional stressor exasperates de symptoms. Generally speaking mainstream medicine tends to ignore almost all psychogenic manifestations but this one in particular they do acknowledge, recognizing that symptoms appear worse when the patient is anxious and it’s refereed to as “emotional overlay”. In some cases, after receiving MRI results patients reported that their pain became much more severe. 

The third psychogenic group reverses the second.  Henry Beecher from Harvard reported on this with a group of baldy wounded soldiers in World War II. It was found that no matter how severe their injuries they often “required little or no analgesic medication because their pain was substantially lessened by their becoming aware that they were still alive, being cared for and removed from the dangers of deprivation, hardship, and sudden death.” Imagine that! Being so grateful about both being alive and not to having to return to the front lines that your pain tolerance is much higher! 

The fourth group is know as hysterical disorders and they are often quite strange. The patient may suffer from a wide variety of debilitating symptoms, including muscle weakness or paralysis, numbness or tingling, or a complete absence of sensation, blindness, inability to speak, among others, all of this without any physical abnormalities to speak of in the body to account for the symptoms, which in turn indicates that they are generated by powerful emotions in the brain.  The person perceives them as originating in the body. One 19th Century pioneer of psychiatry Josef Breuer compared them to hallucinations. 

The fifth group and our point of interest is psychosomatic disorders. This one stands out in that the brain induces actual physical changes in the body to account for the disease. An interesting note about both Hysterical and Psychosomatic disorders is the tendency for them to become in vogue and spread throughout the population as if they were bacteriological in nature. Perhaps you have noticed how we go from a non-existent disease to one that a large percentage of the population suddenly suffers from, for instance irritable bowel syndrome, tension headaches etc. As weird as it sounds people with an unconscious psychological need for symptoms tend to develop a disorder that is well known like back pain, allergies or eczema.  Some schools of thought say that it’s related to current and past emotional states whereas others say it’s simply a way for your subconscious mind to distract your conscious mind from thoughts, beliefs or fears that seems to overwhelming to handle for the moment. The truth may lie somewhere in between.

The problem with mind-body syndromes is that there is a stigma associated with it. This isn’t new. For a long time certain diseases have been a reason for shame, it used to be that way with tuberculosis. Often this is still the case with mental health conditions. As if you had made a deliberate choice to be sick. There have been many efforts recently to end the stigma associated with mental health conditions but it seems to be human nature to ostracize that which we don’t understand. 

To really understand the concept of our subconscious mind trying to distract us from something we need to understand how suppression vs repression works. Suppression is a conscious choice to not think or deal with something. It’s also known as denial. Sometimes we lie to ourselves and pretend we are “over it” but really we are just suppressing it. Repression on the other hand is something that is completely out of our awareness, by definition we don’t know it exists. 

Here’s an example: We have a fight with a friend or family member, in the heat of the moment hurtful “truths” are said and we are called “manipulative”. We suppress the anger and pain (we consider ourselves very kind, generous and selfless, being called manipulative is enraging), we accept their apology, but there is no discussion of what was said or if it was meant, it’s now just  “water under the bridge”. As a result there is a part of us that always remembers what they said and the relationship is never quite the same, after all they believe us to be “manipulative”.  Suppression.  

Simultaneously, our subconscious is aware of the reality that because we feel inherently unworthy we do have a tendency to over-do for others in an effort to remain relevant, loved and to prevent abandonment. When our effort and sacrifices are not acknowledged or reciprocated we do in fact  engage in manipulative behavior. Recognizing that reality would challenge our self image and identity as good, honorable people. It’s too much to bare it must be kept from us at all cost. Repression. So when our minds start thinking about that comment “you are manipulative” our subconscious quickly attempts to distract us with be it a “random” headache or sudden back pain.

An interesting point about psychosomatic conditions is that they come and go seemingly at random. Unlike a fractured bone that continues to hurt consistently until it heals a mind-body disease comes and goes. The pain can be excruciating one minute and nonexistent the next; once you have been appropriately distracted from the issue, the symptom is no longer necessary.  

For an in-depth discussion on Psychosomatic diseases please refer to Dr. John E Sarno M.D.’s book “The Divided Mind”. In it you will also find a treatment protocol he has used to resolve these “incurable” diseases.

Lifestyle Medicine and New Year’s Resolutions

There is something truly gratifying about beginnings. The bigger the better! The beginning of a week is a good time to start something new. But the beginning of a month is even better! The beginning of a decade is great and many of us actually had the opportunity to start a new century! However, the new year presents an inflection point that all people celebrate. In fact, New Year resolutions are an international tradition. This year is no exception. Many of us have our list of goal set, others are still brainstorming. Wellness and health goals are, as expected, top of the list for most. In this post I hope to inspire you by focusing on some new findings in the research in Lifestyle Medicine. 

  Lifestyle Medicine, for those not familiar with the concept, prioritizes lifestyle changes not only for the prevention of disease but in the treatment and often the reversal of disease. It consists of a whole food and plant-based diet that is low in fat and refined sugars/carbs, stress management techniques such as yoga or meditation, exercise and psychosocial support. Basically eat well, move more, stress less, love and be loved.

I am sure that like me, you too have heard something similar to this in relation to wellness and perhaps disease prevention. However, I had not read any studies related to the treatment or reversal of disease. Intrigued by the concept, I attended the Lifestyle Medicine Summit in the fall of 2021 to learn more. Dr. Dean Ornish MD presented some of the latest research associated with Lifestyle Medicine related particularly to the reversal of diseases progression in prostate cancer, heart disease, type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, auto immune diseases, high cholesterol, obesity, cellular aging and gene expression. 

All conditions mentioned above share the same biological processes chronic inflammation and overstimulation of the sympathetic nervous system. All conditions present with changes in the immune function, microbiome and telomere length among others. Each of these mechanisms in turn is directly influenced by what we eat, how we respond to stress, how much we exercise and how much love and support we have. You will notice that often times people have several of these health concerns simultaneously (high cholesterol, hight blood pressure, type two diabetes, heart diseased etc. etc.).  Not surprisingly, this explains why other countries population start dying like that of the U.S. after fast food is exported to them.  

One large study in Europe showed that those who exercised half an hour a day, didn’t smoke and ate a healthy diet to maintain a healthy weight prevented 93% of type 2 diabetes, 81% of heart attacks, 50% of strokes and 36% of all cancers. Here is something a little closer to home. A study that looked at front line Doctors and nurses who were taking care of COVID patients, found that those on a plant-based diet were 73% less likely to develop COVID and those on a pescatarian diet were 59% less likely when compared to those who were on a high animal-protein diet such as Atkins, Paleo or Keto, who were four times more likely to develop moderate to severe illness. Lifestyle particularly our diet affects our immune function. 

That is prevention, how about reversal or treatment? For prostate cancer one study out of the Bill Aronson Lab in UCLA saw that lifestyle changes inhibited 70% of tumor growth versus  9% on the control group. The more the lifestyle changed the more inhibited the tumor growth was. 

In a different post I discussed the findings of meditation in the Telomeres and in brain function. The shortening of Telomeres is associated with premature death and aging. So, anything we can do to prevent Telomeres from getting shorter will help prevent dementia. The study on Lifestyle’s effect on Telomeres showed not just that it slowed the process (like meditation did)  but the enzyme that repairs and lengthens them went up by 30%!  In a 5 year period it was demonstrated that the Telomeres were longer, whereas, in the control group the Telomeres were shorter. 

This was the first time that a study showed Telomeres getting longer over time!  This study confirmed, for the first time, that positive Lifestyle changes can reverse aging on a cellular level. Regarding dementia, Telomeres lengthening was shown in something as simple as eating five or more fruits and vegetables a day thus reducing the risk of cognitive impairment by almost half.  And,  if you are 65 or older and eat a lot of vegetables it was reduced  by 38%.  It turns out that what is good for the heart is good for the brain. 

A Lifestyle Medicine approach cuts at the heart of popular high protein diets like Atkins, paleo and ketogenic as they are all associated with a 30% increase in all causes of mortality and 51% higher cardiovascular mortality. You may lose weight, but, most importantly, arteries are severely clogged even as the weight goes down.  As a general rule, we do eat too much sugar and refined carbs in a western diet. However, replacing this diet with animal protein is not the best idea. Replacing them with Whole Foods, fruits, vegetables and whole grains is optimal! 

Mutual of Omaha Health Insurance demonstrated that Lifestyle Medicine was so effective that the insurance company saved almost 30k per patient when those same patients changed their lifestyles.  Meaning, in fact,  it helped patients from having to undergo stent or bypass surgery.  A second study done by Blue Cross Blue Shield showed similar findings resulting in the Lifestyle Medicine protocol to be covered by the insurance carriers.  The program includes a meditation teacher, an exercise physiologist, a psychologist, a doctor, a nurse and a dietician.  In addition, it simply teaches people the tools of how to eat. People attend 4 hour sessions twice a week for nine weeks and have access to exercise and meditation support groups and a lecture with a group meal.  But there is another issue that is plaguing all of us.  A pandemic of loneliness.  A study by David Spiegel found that women with metastatic breast cancer doubled their survival rate when they attended a support group once a week for a year.  Put simply, these women lived longer because they found a safe place to connect and be healthy.

The principles of Lifestyle Medicine are not complicated.  Perhaps, these concepts may appear overwhelming when taken all at once.  But, in small steps Lifestyle Medicine, can have a real impact on your health.  I am not suggesting that you have to become Vegan.  But by adding a few more vegetables to your meals or limiting your red meat intake to 2-3 times a week you can make a difference. Learning stress management techniques like breathing, meditation or journaling can make those cortisol levels reduce and getting a few more steps in on your pedometer will help your brain retain its youth. Add some quality time with like-minded individuals for some moral support and you well be well on your way out of illness and into wellness.  Every journey starts with one small step.  Make yours.

Journaling

There's nothing new about journaling. The benefits of the practice have been known for decades. In the book Search Inside Yourself, Chade-Meng Tan, Daniel Goleman & Jon Kabat-Zinn point to the conclusions of a University of Texas psychologist named James Pennebaker who "concluded that students who wrote about their most meaningful personal experiences for 15 minutes a day several days in a row felt better, had healthier blood work, and got higher grades in school." More recently still researchers asked 49 students to journal for only 2 minutes on two consecutive days and still saw a significant effect in mood and performance in standardized tests of wellbeing. That represents a large return on a 2 minute investment! These studies did not require the participants to write about anything in particular. The practice is aimed at self discovery, allowing thoughts to flow, writing down your stream of consciousness. Doing this can reveal what's really on your mind. While self discovery is itself a worthy cause to begin journaling, there exist practical applications for this habit. The same book quoted above cited another study by Stefanie Spera, Eric Buhrfeind, and James Pennebaker who followed a group of laid-off professionals who wrote"about their feelings for five consecutive days for twenty minutes each day" those who did found jobs at a much higher rate than those in the non-writing group.  "After eight months, 68.4 percent of them found jobs, versus 27.3 percent from the control group." Such a result really makes one think. We all know that when we are in a "good place" everything seems to go well, and if something does goes wrong, it doesn't seem to bother us! Conversely, the opposite is also true, when we are worried about something, or have a difficult conversation pending, everything seems to go wrong and the smallest incident can set us off.  This practice of daily journaling allows us to clarify our thoughts and emotions, which in turn sets us up for deciding on a course of action, rather than continuing to ruminate on the incident. As a consequence this frees up space to be more present and aware in the moment which has been shown to be a major contributing factor to happiness. 

Back in 2014 I wrote about keeping a gratitude journal. That too can have a significant impact in your day to day experience. One thing that has come up in the past is that when keeping a gratitude journal, it can sometimes be quite difficult to express frustration, disappointment and anger in the same notebook. Specially because we often put a lot of effort in making sure we pick out a special notebook that inspires us! Therefore my recommendation is to keep separate journals. An "I hate the world" journal, where one can express negative feelings can be difficult to find, most conventional journals are inspirational, peaceful. My solution was to make my own. Since then I have made them for some of my clients as well. To see what these look like or request one of your own click here. Whatever goal you are trying to achieve, whether internal peace or resolution a difficult situation in your life, journaling can be a powerful tool in meeting your goal. 

A Compelling Argument for Kindness

   January of 2015 the Journal of Neuroscience published the findings on the research performed on “SuperAgers”, those who at age 80 have the memory of people decades younger. Key factor were the presence of a thicker region of the Cortex, fewer “tangles” (the presence of many tangles is a primary indicator of Alzheimer’s disease) and an abundant supply of the von Economo neuron, particularly in the anterior cingulate (ACC) - 3 to 5 times more of them in fact.  

     This latter element stands of particularly interest given that the von Economo neuron plays a very important role in the quick transmission of information related to behavior in social interactions.  Other species seem to have elevated quantities of this neuron as well, such as elephants (who never forget) and dolphins.

      The location where the neurons were found remains key; the ACC sits right below the frontal lobe and activates among other circumstances, during situations that require judgment, for example, scrutinizing the face of someone in an attempt to decipher their intentions. Brain imaging has demonstrated that the ACC activates when mothers hear infants cry, leading to the conclusion of an existent relationship to social sensitivity and von Economo neurons in the ACC. This link between these neurons and a higher social intelligence raises interesting implications in cultivating the qualities that improve social intelligence.

     Key aspects of the socially intelligent individual include the ability to carryout a conversation with a wide range of people, feeling equally at ease with any of them. Being a good listener by tuning into the meaning and feelings of the speaker and not just the words. The socially intelligent person possess the ability of simultaneously speaking in a tactful and discreet manner while remaining honest and genuine. This perhaps presents as the most complex element of social intelligence. Showing kindness and having a sincere interest in others seems to be at the core of social intelligence along with empathy and self-confidence.

    The conclusion for those who cherish their minds and memories and wish to retain them is to develop kindness and empathy, not just towards others but towards the self as well.

Yay! Fats are good for you now!

There has been a lot on the media lately about the results on studies regarding the consumption of fats. As it turns out, fats are not necessarily the enemy; in one such study there was a correlation found between children who drank only low-fat milk and obesity. After decades of avoiding fat, making adjustments to include it in out diets would be difficult, except for the fact that fat is delicious! Eating more fats is not going to be hard, the challenging part is going to be, making sure we are well informed on what the studies really have shown before making drastic changes to our diets.

One fact remains: trans-fats are toxic and linked to many chronic diseases. On the other hand, eating high-cholesterol foods has no impact on cholesterol levels (not that a clear link between high cholesterol and cardiac risk has been made) and obesity has been linked more to an addiction to carbs/sugars than to fat consumption. As a matter of fact the human body can survive with few carbs provided by the liver as needed, but cannot survive without fat. Fats are the preferred fuel not just for your body but also specially for brain function. According to Dr. Perlmutter in his book Grain Brain, a study done on the elderly compared memory function to cholesterol levels and “found that the people [..] had much better memory function if they had higher levels of cholesterol”. Dr. George Mann a researcher with the Framingham Heart Study concluded: “The diet heart hypotheses that suggests that a high intake of fat or cholesterol causes heart disease has been repeatedly shown to be wrong, and yet, for complicated reasons of pride, profit, and prejudice the hypotheses continues to be exploited by scientists, fund- raising enterprise, food companies, and even governmental agencies. The public is being deceived by the greatest heath scam of the century”. To understand how this can possibly be true you need to understand how LDL (the “bad” cholesterol) really works. LDL is a carrier that brings cholesterol to the neurons, if you have low cholesterol your neurons will be running low on gas. The problem begins when the LDL molecule is damaged which makes it less likely to do its job; this can happen through oxidation and when sugar binds to LDL it accelerates this oxidation. Oxidized LDL is what’s really at the root of atherosclerosis. So the goal is not to stop consuming cholesterol, rather to prevent it from oxidizing.  Compounding the problem, when fat was taken from foods, the loss in flavor was compensated by adding sugar. If you look at the ingredients on most items bought in the supermarket you will be astounded at how many include added sugar! So the conclusion of the matter is, yes eat more healthy Fats but limit the cabs. Go ahead and use heavy whipping cream in your coffee but don’t add processed sugar! Fry your egg in butter, but don’t eat it with toast!  

How to Create a Habit

Is there anything you would like to incorporate into your routine but don’t know where to start? In her book 100 Easy Healthy Habits Tara Rayburn gives some great advise on how to get a habit to stick. I have used this method and been able to continuously maintain new habits for 5 months now. Here is how it works: First, write out 3 healthy goals you want to reach and then pick one of the 3. In my case it was getting up at the same time every morning “feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day”. Second, brainstorm 10-20 habits that support your goal, no habit is too small or insignificant if it will help you reach the target. It would look something like this:

Goal:    Get up at 7:00am every morning feeling refreshed and ready for the day

Supporting Habits:

-      Be in bed by 11:00 (8 hrs of sleep)

-       No coffee after 5:00pm (6 hrs before bed)

-       No alcohol after 10:00

-       Start night routine by 10:30 (then define routine)

-       Create wind-down playlist

-       Use a natural light alarm clock in the morning

-       Set coffee maker to have coffee brewing when alarm rings

Get creative! Maybe there’s a scent that relaxes you, put it into a diffuser! Once you have made your “Habits” list, it’s time to pick one out and practice it for a week. It may be the “no coffee after 5:00” or the new “playlist”, pick just one at a time and practice it all week. Rain or shine. Be consistent for the whole week. At the end of the week check in with yourself to see if it worked and if it’s worth keeping. Then pick a second one from the list. Once you have finished with all your supportive habits, you will have attained your goal! What I love about this system is that each new habit you add is a small step that is attainable, so it doesn’t seem too overwhelming.  

Here’s another example.

Goal:         Exercise 3 times a week after work.

Habits:

-       Have workout clothes in the car

-       Have at least three sets of workout clothes in the car

-       Keep a snack to eat before and after workout in the car

-       Keep a water bottle in the car

-       Have my earphones in my gym bag

-       Create three different playlists

-       Pick three activities/exercises I like

It may be that for the first week you just work on getting a great GYM bag.  Be kind to yourself and patient, this may be a slower process than what you are used to trying, but it’s far more likely to create permanent habits!

What's a Gratitude Journal? Should I be keeping one?

What's a Gratitude Journal? Should I be keeping one?

 Like most journals, you can make your Gratitude Journal your own. There are differences between a gratitude journal and a manifestation, travel, reading, dreaming, or other type of journal. As the name implies a Gratitude Journal has the specific goal of listing things you are grateful for.  How you go about doing this is entirely up to you. If you like digital journaling you can even use photographs instead of words or a combination of both; if you prefer the traditional pen and paper, then you can use lists or write it as a story. Any method works because  all methods require thinking about what we are grateful for. Every emotion has a unique vibration, the better we feel the higher the vibration; for example, a neutral emotion like boredom, has a higher vibration than pessimism and a lower one than contentment; as you might expect, the highest vibrations are in emotions such as love and gratitude. The exercise of writing out things you are grateful for is one of the quickest ways to get you out of a “funk” or calm a spinning mind, be it into restful sleep or clear motivation. So how do you do it? 

Get a Journal

In order to get started it helps to have a Journal that inspires you, local books stores tend to have great selections, as does amazon. If you’re doing it digitally, use an App that allows for some customization so you can make it your own.  

Chose when to write

If you have difficulty getting to sleep you may want to do it right before you lie down to go to sleep; you can follow through with a mental list after you lie down to help ease you into unconsciousness, but make sure you do the written one first; there is great value in seeing the words written in your handwriting. If it’s a difficult for you to getting going in the morning, write your list first thing after you wake up, or with your morning coffee; this will help you focus on the day ahead. You can, of course, do both! 

Start small

Set a realistic goal for yourself. Start out with just 5 things you are grateful for. You can add more as you become aware of all the wonderful things we are fortunate to have. It could be something that happened through out the day, like the song of birds outside your window, or just simple things in life, often taken for granted, like that first cup of coffee; maybe the running hot water for your morning shower, or that the car didn’t break down of the way home from work. You’d be surprised what you will come up with once you give it a try!

Be consistent

Consistency is the key to success. It will take you 21 days to form the habit of keeping a daily gratitude journal, so for those first three weeks, find things that will anchor your new habit. For example, do it in between activities that you already have developed a habit with, after coffee but before showering; or after brushing your teeth but before reading your book. 

The reason that we do a Gratitude journal rather then a Love journal is that while love is an active emotion, something we give, gratitude is a passive emotion, something we receive. Focusing on the things we are grateful for is the first step to receiving love, because it makes us acknowledge the things we have been given, this awareness in turn attracts more gifts!  

Carbs or Fats?

This is a hotly debated subject. Fats have been perceived as enemy number one for quite some time, and yet, recent studies showing a correlation between consuming fat-free products and obesity have begun to raise serious doubts on the virtues of a low-fat high-carb diet (this includes whole grains, organic or not). Dr. David Pearmutter MD a neurologist has done extensive research on the effects of various foods groups such as carbs and fats on brain health and by extension the rest of the body. His findings has led him to effectively turn the nutrition pyramid on its head when considering what is the healthy diet for the humans brain. In his book Grain Brain Dr. Mutter and co-author Kristin Loberg point out that the high we so often feel after eating a heavy carb meal (both complex and simple carbs) is not a figment of our imaginations. It has been known for more than 40 years that when gluten (found in most grains/carbs) is broken down in the stomach they turn into polypeptides which are able to go through the blood-brain barrier and party with the morphine receptors, which as the name implies, are the receptors responsible for providing pleasure from opiate drugs such as oxycodone and heroine. The effect is so similar, in fact, that opiate-blocking drugs like naltrexone actually block the effects of these polypeptides dubbed by Dr. Christine Davis as exorphins to distinguish them from the natural painkiller endorphins we produce. Just as with Heroine, when the effects are blocked or we abstain from these exophin-producing foods, there are withdrawal symptoms. This becomes concerning when you consider how ever present sugars in the foods we consume. When fat was taken out of foods, due to fear of raising cholesterol, the flavor loss was compensated with added sugar. The consequence of that was that the consumption of sugar for the average american went from 2 pounds a year a hundred years ago, to 152 pounds today; that’s almost 43 teaspoons a day and that’s just sugar and it’s cousins glucose, corn syrup, sucrose etc. that doesn’t include the complex carbs we eat that our bodies then turns into sugar like the bread, pasta, rice and potatoes. The rise in type 2 diabetes is one indication of the result of our sugar addiction, but just because you haven’t been diagnosed with diabetes or have nice even blood sugar level doesn't mean that your body is not being stressed out. In order to maintain your blood-sugar levels doesn't mean that everything is fine. The pancreas produces insulin to transfer glucose in the blood into the cells, the more glucose (sugar) in your blood the more insulin your pancreas produces, this in turn makes the cells become less sensitive to the insulin, like an addict that requires higher and higher doses the cells require more and more insulin to absorb the glucose until at some point the pancreas can no longer produce enough insulin to maintain the blood sugar and hello Diabetes; It is Dr. Pearmutter’s premise that by flipping the pyramid on it’s head and consuming more fats and fewer carbs we can reverse this trend and make the cells more sensitive to insulin. He argues that fat (healthy fats) are the brain and body's preferred fuel, and if we return to that model of nutrition not just will we resolve the diabetes trend but a whole host of neurological problems, including depression. Would you give up the flavored syrup in your latte and replace the fat-free milk it with half and half? Your brain surely would!

Are we all destined to suffer memory loss as we age?

“I’m having a senior moment." Have you heard that expression? It seems we have simply resigned ourselves to the “fact” that as we age our mental ability declines. While, perhaps, we dedicate much time, energy and resources to slowing down the aging process of our bodies; be it through expensive facial creams or multi-vitamins and antioxidants, or through regular exercise and hydration, we seem to have surrendered to the idea that our brains deteriorate but, darn it, we will look fantastic during our dementia. Or, perhaps we try to keep our brain active by doing crossword puzzles or performing new activities or learning new languages. After all, there was the study about how Tango dancing helped Parkinson’s patients and suggested it may help “boost” memory in older individuals. One thing is certain, we are all doing the very best we can to slow down the aging process.

Much has been said about the role of free radicals in aging, but the real culprit is the inflammation these free radicals cause. Dr. Nicholas Perricone, M.D. states in his book 7 Secrets to Beauty, Health and Longevity,  “Free radicals exist for only a nanosecond and therefore do very little direct damage to cellular molecules. However, what they do accomplish, in their very brief life, is the initiation of an inflammatory cascade, which can continue for hours or even days.”  The solution given to the free radical issue are antioxidants. You see a free radical is a molecule that, for whatever reason, has lost an electron (they come in pairs), that’s what makes it “free”. This single electron goes bar hopping, trying to steal another molecules electron to soothe its lonely heart and therefore stirs up inflammation and oxidation. Antioxidants donate an electron to the lonely molecule, and the craziness stops. However, when you consider that we are talking quantities of free radicals like 10 with eighteen zeros following it (10,000,000,000,000,000,000,) consuming enough antioxidants is just not feasible. Keep in mind that the aging you see and feel on your skin and muscles is also occurring to your brain, only without the benefit of collagen creams. Here is where it gets interesting. It turns out that our bodies have a natural solution to the free radicals issue. Detoxification and antioxidant protein is found in the nucleus, called Nfr2, turns on when there are excessive free radicals. In his book Grain Brain, Dr. Pearlmutter lists various compounds that “turn on” Nfr2 production. That include: “curcumin from turmeric, green tea extract, silymarin (milk thistle), bacopa extract, DHA, sulforaphane (contained in broccoli), and ashwagandha” he also mentions that coffee has these compounds both in the raw material and some generated by roasting. Caloric restriction and fasting has also been shown to ramp up Nfr2 production. This gives us some new incentives to include some of those compounds in our diets. After all, we would like to be mentally present to enjoy the well-kept bodies we’ve worked so hard to achieve!

How to change Limiting Beliefs

This question has deeper implications than it would seem. Generally speaking when we want to change our beliefs, we study the matter, review the evidence and reach a new conclusion. For example, we used to believe that the earth was flat, the matter was further studied, evidence pointed in a different direction, and we came to a new conclusion, we now “believe” that the earth, is in fact, round. That change was neither painful nor did it require that much work on our part.

The problem with “limiting beliefs”, however, is that they are emotionally charged and have usually been with us for many years, from infancy in some cases. We have lived through the lenses of these beliefs, acquiring as much proof as we could to validate and solidify them. From a physiological perspective, what has happened in our brain is that a neural network was formed and reinforced with every negative event. For instance, if our limiting belief is “I am worthless”, then every time we make a mistake, or something doesn’t go our way, we attribute it, not to unrelated circumstances, but to the fact that we are indeed “worthless”. These assessments seldom come without brutal judgment and a complete recall of all the other failures that have occurred due to our “worthlessness”.

Limiting beliefs are easily recognized because when we think about them we think in term of absolutes. It’s a fact, on a scale of 1 – 10 they’re a 10. Since most of these beliefs were created at a time in our life when we were learning at a different wavelength, telling ourselves now over and over again, the contrary, will not change the neural networks associated with the belief. More is needed; the change has to be done in the subconscious mind. The two most effective ways to do this is through Meditation and the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)   developed by Gary Craig. CAT scans have demonstrated visible results in the brain patterns in people who meditate.  I personally have found meditation to be a great way to start the day and the shifts that have occurred in my mind have been subtle but very profound. EFT on the other hand has become my favorite tool both for myself and in my practice to help shift limiting beliefs.  EFT works on the same meridians as traditional acupuncture, using light tapping on specific points on the head, face and hands to release energy while you think about the limiting belief. It’s very fast and easy and can be focused on very specific beliefs. If you would like know more about EFT and the results I have achieved with it’s use, feel free to contact me.

DNA- Are we victims of our genetic makeup?

In the late 1980's the Human Genome Project was tasked with cataloging all the genes in the in the human body. It was going to be no small feat.  It was expected that they had to find a gene for each of the more than 100,000 proteins that make up the human body. Then there are the additional 20,000 genes to coordinate the activity in the protein genes. The expectation was that the catalog would contain at least 120,000 genes, thus having a blueprint of the human genome. This would be a revolutionary discovery. Genetic predetermination had become the explanation of choice in everything from medicine, when explaining why one falls ill while others don’t, to sports, when attributing great feats to the lucky inheritance of “good” genes. The results of the Genome Project would pinpoint the exact reason for everything from our health to our behavior.

By 2003 when the results were in, the scientific community was shocked by the findings. Of the 120,000 expected genes, the human genome consisted of only about 25,000. More than 80% of what was thought to be required DNA was missing! The concept of one gene for every protein was disavowed and the complexity of the human body could no longer be explained with a blueprint. Particularly unsettling was the fact that a parallel project found that rodents have roughly the same number of genes as we do.

During the decades that came and went while the decoding took place, the idea of genetic predisposition had become a mantra for society. The belief that some of us simply don’t have the necessary genes to accomplish great things, in matters of health and disease, weight loss, muscle gain, language learning ability or even social skills, was deeply held. Burdened with the “knowledge” that genes not only controlled our lives, but we're not consulted on which genes we get, many of us felt victimized by our heredity and saw little need to fight against our "destiny".

David Baltimore, one of the world’s most renowned geneticists and winner of the Nobel Prize, recognized the need for more information.  He said, “Understanding what does give us our complexity—our enormous behavioral repertoire, ability to produce conscious action, remarkable physical coordination, precisely tuned alterations in response to external variations of the environments, learning, memory, need I go on?—remains a challenge for the future.”

So, our genes don’t bind us to failure or success after all.  “Conscious action” –however it is that we come about it- can propel us into achieving our dreams and desires.  The only thing holding us back is what we have come to “believe” to be true about ourselves; once those beliefs shift, an entire world of previously unattainable possibilities are ours for the choosing.   Therefore, the real question is, how do we change our limiting beliefs? 

Water Crystals

I recently read a book called The Hidden Messages in Waterby Masaru Emoto. Mr. Emoto has researched the effect of various environments  on the formation of a complete water crystals. He does this by exposing distilled water to sounds, pictures and words both spoken and written. For example, he exposed water to both classical and death metal music; the result was, classical music would produce beautiful and complete crystals while the death metal exposed water was unable to create a complete crystal. When he exposed the water to beautiful pictures and specific words as “thank you”-  and “dirty”  with similar results. 

          This of course has very interesting implications in our lives since according to NASA our bodies are 70% water. We have heard about the importance of kind words but nothing brings it home like these crystals- 

          One of Mr. Emoto’s readers decided to test his theories with his family by putting rice on three containers and having the children speak to the containers every day. They would tell one container “Thank You”, another one “You Fool” and the third they would ignore all together. After a month, the container that had positive words spoken to it began to ferment with a light malty smell. The one that was insulted, turned black and rotted. The most interesting thing was what happened to the rice that was ignored, it rotted faster than the one that was insulted! Apparently negative attention really is better than no attention at all. 

          I think it's a great example of quantum dynamics and the observer effect. If you were to try to replicate these experiments with any sort of doubt, with a desire to disprove the theory, that doubt would change the nature of the vibration associated with the words, music and scenery you are exposing the water to. Since the water is simply reflecting the vibrational state of the observer, your personal feelings toward the experiment would supplant the meaning of anything you expose to the water. To Mr. Emoto, the word "Thank You" puts him in a state of gratitude which is then reflected on the water. That is to say, if the sound of the word "Dirty" would evoke a sense of gratitude in a different observer, than that observer would get in amazing crystal from "Dirty". 

           So often this is the problem with "proving" theories regarding the mind-body connection. Since the meaning of words tend to be a matter or character, culture and language of the speaker, what would evoke pride in one English speaker may evoke shame in another because, while they speak the same language, they do not have the same cultural background. I see this occurring with the word "ambition" - in our American culture it carries a positive connotation, if you are "ambitious" then you are driven, dedicated, a "go getter", you are shooting for the stars! Where as the same word when spoken to a person for whom their first language was Spanish may see "ambitious" as having a negative connotation - greedy, selfish, willing to step all over others to attain their own desires. So too, the way to raise the vibrational state or mood of one person (or of water for that matter) may differ drastically form one to another. One things seems to be universally true, however, being kind to others from a sincere heart with no desire to obtain anything in return has a positive effect on the vibrational state (emotional state) of all involved and by extension their health and quality of life. So let's be kind to each other!